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| I often browse the internet "researching," which usually just consists of me looking up articles on Wikipedia. Other times I'll look up tutorials for random things. Wonderful thing, the internet. You could spend an eternity going off on rabbit trails while looking up such things. The more I do it, though, the more incredibly overwhelmed I feel. There's a huge, vast amount of knowledge in the collective human mind, and there's no possible way I can know everything I want to. A few examples:
I want to learn C, C++, Perl, Javascript, and whatever else.
I want to make Source mods.
I want to make several movies.
I want to learn about 20 languages.
I want to explore most countries.
I want to design a new kind of vehicle from scratch.
I want to decipher the Easter Island tablets (I personally think they might be music).
I want to discover who actually built the great pyramids.
So yeah... you can see how it would be easy to get overwhelmed. Where to even start? I've only dipped my toes into each of these, some I haven't done any real research on, just had the idea. Oh yeah, I also have a growing list of ideas.
A 24 hour restaurant that doesn't have a menu, and instead takes requests.
A TV series where each episode is about a person who's life intersected with Christ during His life on Earth.
A line of media players (from portable to set-top boxes, all of which can interface with each other wirelessly) that can play any media type.
A bean bag/old couch type coffee shop that shows awesome movies every night.
Those are just a few. Sometimes it seems like every day there's something new I want to do. For now, I'm doing what I can with my limited resources, biding my time (paying off my stupidity debt) until I can break out and really get to work on these things.
I guess I've accomplished one goal, though. I'm performing in the Waxahachie Community Theater's production of Oliver! this weekend. Hooray. :)
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| I try my best to be a purposeful person. I usually have a very good reason reason (in my mind, at least) for the things I do, or the things I don't do. If I'm doing something you think I shouldn't be doing, you can ask me about it, and I will give you my explanation of why I choose to do it. If you think that I should be doing something, you can ask me about it, and I will explain why I am not. But please, don't be tight-lipped, don't brood, and don't be afraid of offending me. (I am almost the least offend-able person I know. That isn't to say I'm backing down from my position. It might just mean that I don't care what you think one way or the other. I may still disagree, but I'm not one to get angry or upset.) It may simply be that it hadn't crossed my mind. You can probably be sure that I don't think like you, don't think about the same things, that my mind is different that yours.
I don't like secrets, and I can't stand being kept in the dark.
A related note. Something I never understood is why people get angry or upset with other people when they don't automatically know what their expectations are. I had this problem with my parents growing up. They expected me to just magically know what they wanted me to do without telling me what it was.
"Why didn't you take out the trash?"
I didn't know it needed taken out.
"It was obviously full."
I haven't even been in the kitchen.
"You should have been looking to see if it needed done."
Why would I think to do that?
"Because it's important to us."
How am I supposed to know that unless you tell me?
I had the same problem in college.
"You missed such and such required thing."
I didn't know about it.
"We posted a notice in this obscure place."
I've never been there, I don't even know where that is.
"You should have asked."
How would I ask about something I've never known about?
Don't ever, EVER expect me to read your mind. I will fail EVERY time. SAY SOMETHING.
I am listening.
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| Kind of arrogant of me to think that I had anything to do with it.
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| A dear friend of mine made a very good point yesterday. My phone has had a big impact on me, and in one respect, it's become a serious impairment. I went to a DFW NORML event the other day with Kirsten. It basically consisted of a meeting and a reggae concert. We didn't know anyone there, and we're both somewhat shy in such a social situation. Out came the cell phones.
When I went to auditions for Oliver, I didn't know anyone there. Out came the phone. Just play games and stuff.
So I'm making a resolution. No more pulling out the phone to stay in the comfort zone. I need to meet and talk to these people. What am I so afraid of?
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